Failure Is Never Final

December 1 – or any other day – may have been the final day of your divorce, the day you were rejected, or the day you lost or buried a loved one; but remember that December 2 was the first day of the rest of your life. While extremely sad, it was a day of new beginnings. If you haven't done your grieving, it takes time but be sure to do it now. Face, accept, and resolve your pain; get up even if you have to drag yourself up, and go on. To do this effectively, there are several valuable qualities you need to have.

- Have the right attitude. Attitude is what makes the difference between a painful experience becoming a failure or a success. You can let the failure leave you timid and afraid to step out again for fear of being hurt or you can determine that your failure will be your teacher.

You can allow your failures to hurt you or help you. True, you need mountaintop experiences from time to time to give you encouragement, but you don't grow through these. It is in the valley of your disappointments and through your failures that you are given the opportunity to take stock of your life and move toward a greater level of growth and maturity.

- Know what your purpose in life is. The more clearly defined that purpose is – and the more deeply it is embedded in your conscious and unconscious mind – the less failure will set you back.

A spacecraft en route to the moon is off course 90 percent of the time. It's pulled back by the earth's gravity. It's continually drawn to one side or the other by other forces. But it has a built-in computer that has a singleness of purpose that homes in on the moon. The computer is making continual corrections to keep the spacecraft on target with its purpose and goal.

Lives are like that. If your eye is on your goal, if you have a singleness of purpose, nothing will stop you getting to where you are going.

- Remember that failure is an event, not a person. Because you may have failed in your marriage or job, in another relationship, or other situation, doesn't mean that you are a failure as a person. Not at all. Realize that the only real failure is not to try, or not to keep on trying, or not to get up one more time. The important thing is to learn from your past, to use it as an opportunity to grow, and to move ahead.

- Give God a chance. If you feel like you have failed or believe you've done wrong, ask Him to forgive you – and be sure to forgive yourself. Then turn your failure into a stepping stone toward a better you.

Where a bone is broken and heals, it becomes the strongest part of the bone. The same is true of your broken places – where you have been hurt, have fallen and failed, or are afraid. When you bring these to God for His healing, His strength is made perfect through your weakness.

Dick Innes is founder of ACTS International, a teaching and communications organization that produces literature and runs seminars to help hurting people. He was born in Queensland, Australia, and has made California his home for 19 years. He is the author of I Hate Witnessing.